Got some advice lets see if it works

Thanks Mr...

I am so not computer savy

Dose anyone know how to post a video on here, its from you tube and I can not figure it out.

A Memory

So since I am not getting any lately I thought that I would dig into my memories and share one of my all time favorites. We will call him J. J and I dated for a summer, he was emotionally screwed up but I stuck around for the amazing sex. We were not about dates and anniversaries (thank god) but more about hanging out with friends at the bar and leaving to have sex (thank god). Well my birthday falls around the summer time so can you guess what my birthday present was, you guessed it sex (is there anything better).

So all of my friends and I went to our favorite bar and toasted my birthday. Last call comes around and J and I head back to my place. He had gotten my flowers and paid for my drinks, I thought that was going to be it and that was all I cared for, but I was oh so wrong. We got home and I jumped on the computer to put in a movie so my neighbors wouldn't be too disturbed. He stopped me and told me he had brought a movie for us to watch. I let him put it in as I got ready for bed. I turned around and there he was standing with a movie in one hand and ropes in the other. My heart quickened. I gave him a devilish smile and asked "are those for me or are those for you" with which he quickly replied "Its your birthday, they are for you silly. I am going to tie you down and pleasure you, but you won't cum until the end of this movie." I was half smiling and half scared. A hour and more with being tied to the bed and not being able to cum.....bring it on.

I laid down and let him tie me up. At first he just tied my hands up, one to each corner of the bed. I lay there completely naked, completely vulnerable, but my sense had heightened and I could feel every inch of me trembling. Then he blind folded me. I fell back and let him just take over, he kissed me deeply and started the movie, and my birthday present.

He started with just running his hands up and down the sides of my body, provoking me to wiggle when ever he got to a tickle spot. Then he placed his lips, so gently, onto my neck and gave me a sweet tinder kiss. Moving quickly he look one of my hard nipples into his mouth and bit just enough to make me cry out. I could see him smiling in my mind, he moved to the other and began to lick all around it. I could feel pleasure rising in me and knew that I was not going to make it through the whole movie, I couldn't even tell how far along the movie was. He slipped one hand under my back and the other roamed my soaking pussy. His lips were back to my neck as he teased me. Not touching, but just gently gliding his hand over, not giving enough pressure to please, but just enough to tease and make me try and push against his hand. He took one finger and gently and slowly pulled my slit apart. He kissed me all the way down to the top of my clit. I was sure that I was going to get some sort of release.

He flicked my clit with his tongue and I shook. I wanted more, I wanted to have him in me, filling me completely, but I was denied. He stopped, I could fell him on the bed still but I could not tell what he was doing, this blindfold was getting to be annoying but fun. Then I hear a click and a buzzing started. "I hope you like your new toy" and with that he placed the vibrating thing onto my clit and I about jumped. He quickly pulled it away and said "remember your not going to get to come until the movie is over and it is no where close to being over." With that he placed the vibration deep inside me, enough to make feel some pleasure but enough to where I always wanted more. He continued to lick my dripping cunt and every time I came close he would stop and I would sigh. By the end of the movie I was drained and frustrated, I was hating this birthday present. Two hours of not being able to come once, I was done but couldn't do anything about it.

I am not sure but I do believe the movie had ended, at this point I had lost all tract of time and senses. He untied me, I almost felt like a wild animal and wanted to pounce on him right then and there. I lurched for him and he caught me by my wrist. He flipped me around and place me on my stomach. He grab both of my hands and tied them together and then to the bed. He grabbed my hips and lifted me up. In one quick move he thrust into me and I moaned in complete pleasure. The movie had ended and I didn't even know it. He pounded me hard as if he knew that was what I needed. I lost track of time and space and enjoyed every orgasm that rushed over me. It was truly a great birthday.

A little more on Q

So not sure what I am doing, but Q and I have really hit it off. He is even coming over for Christmas dinner to meet the family. Holy crap what am I doing, I guess I will have to figure that out when the time comes.

As I mentioned earlier, Q and I have decided to refrain from sex. I know, I know what you are thinking, but I think it might be a good thing (ok so I think its a good and bad thing, you got me). We have spent almost every night together except for one. We sleep naked (I hate clothing). We stay up till about 4 every morning talking and watching stupid you tube videos. Every morning we wake up (I need a night job so that I can sleep in on the mornings) and just lay around and cuddle. The more I wright this the more it seems like we are high school kids that have parents that trust us and know we won't have sex.

So this all leads me to this point.... I don't think that I can wait much longer. It's killing me. I have had sex on a regular basis for 9 years now. The longest I think that I have ever gone is maybe a month, and that was because I was severely depressed not because I couldn't get it.
I am at the point of just jumping him and tying him down (wow that brought a memory to mind, another post I promise). I have no clue. I know that he wants to wait and make sure that things are good between us, but honestly I really don't believe that bull crap.

Guys, when a girl says this to you, what is your response? I just don't get it. What if after a few months and lots of time and care of the relationship, the sex ends up being really really bad? Do you walk away? Do you try and work on it? I fully believe that sexual compatibility happens the first time and that working on it will never work. What do you think? Should I grab my silk ropes or wait?

A Little bit of an update....

Thanks for all you comments and I just want to clarify a few things. First, yes the first time is not always mind blowing but you know if you mesh or not. I know that I am not going to see fireworks, but I will know if I am rolling my eyes and hating every minute. Second, no sex is not the only thing to a relationship, but it is healthy to the relationship. Most relationships end because of the lack of or quality. Everything between Q and I is great, just no sex. It just seems a little odd.

The Ex, how do you get rid of them

So my weekend went by with much of friends and drinking, and of coarse the Giants pulling that win out of their ass. Then on Friday night when I was hanging out with Q my ex decides, after two months with out talking, to send me a text. Seriously after I read it I just wanted to punch him in the face. It wasn't anything bad, but it was just plain retarded. I will let you judge....

"Hey, I know u hate me but Lelia just whispered in my ear and told me I should marry you."

There are so many things that are so irritating about this.
1) Where was this when we were together and I was completely and totally head over heels in love with him.
2) Just because he sends me that message does not mean I am just going to run into his arms and forget anything ever happened.
3) His 5 year old daughter is smarter then him. At least she knows something good when she sees it.

I didn't respond. I could think of anything other then to just say, "I lost my phone who is this" but that would of been to mean. Plus I really don't want to talk to him things with Q are going so well. Another post I promise.

The Raver

I am not a big fan of raves, honestly if your not on something it is really not that fun. I think it all stems back to the point in time where my friends would all drag me, take some drug (acid, LSD, Ecstasy) and forget to tell me. They would sit on the booming speakers and the only thing I could think of was "this freaking sucks." I am sure if I was of age at the time I would of gotten drunk and had a blast. But the awful times just keep me away from any type of raver club that would drive me crazy. I have to hold on to as much sanity as I have left, if there is any.

One very stimulating Friday night my friend, we will call her lady S, decides we need to go out dancing. Yea, I love to dance, it is one of my favorite things. We must of went to about 5 different bars until we ended up in one that was somewhat decent, except for the lovely raver type music. Well at this point I am tipsy and just want to stay put and drink some more. After about, oh I don't know, 5 more drinks, I am really into it. So I am dancing and happen to back into (ok you got me, trip, hey I was drunk what more do you want out of a girl in 4inch heels) and stubble upon raver. Oh, super cute shaggy type hair with amazing eyes. I grab his glow sticks, I want to play and I think he can tell. After about an hour or so, I decide it is time to go.

Back to my place (you know I have come to the realization that I really hate spending the night somewhere else, I mean really really hate it). We enter my apartment and I ask him if he would like a drink, and of coarse I am off to the kitchen. I return, and there he is pants unzipped and a huge erection just out there in the open, and I blush. How can this guy know what exactly I like (then I think, duh drinking, dancing, and ending up at my place "Hello captain obvious defender of the already known"). I coyly come over and sit on the couch. I take his hand away and place the drink in it. I look at him, take a sip of my drink, place it on the end table and begin to take over where his hand left off. He mutters the words "good girl" and I just about melt. The felling of praise is lifting my spirits and lowering my inhibitions. I slip off the couch and onto my knees, while taking off his pants. I slip the tip just barely between my lips. His looks down at me and grabs my hair, and thrust into my mouth. He lets out a growl and I know that I am in for a treat tonight. I continue for a while and then he looks at me and says "get up." I slide up between his legs and kiss him passionately. In one quick motion he scoops me up, lifting the dress that is barely existent he whispers into my ear "good girl" and gives me a rewarding smack on my ass.

The next thing I know is he is throwing my like a rag doll unto the bed. He yaks my skirt off, but leaves my thigh high white socks on and my black mary jane shoes. He tells me to get to the edge of the bed and bend over. I am there and can feel him pushing the tip of his dick at my opening. I squirm backward hoping that I can have more of him, and in one great stroke he thrust all the way in and I whimper. He leans down to my ear and whispers again "good girl." I can feel him thrusting deep and hard into me, he grabs my tits and pulls my back onto his chest. With one hand wrapped around my tits and the other traveling south, he has found my clit, and i squirm. As he is pumping into me and ravaging my clit, I can feel my climax coming. My breath heightens and my whimpers become moans, and soon I can't help myself but I am yelling. I shake violently as I reach my climax and he lets me fall onto the bed. He leans down and once again whispers "good girl."

He flips me over onto my back and enters my dripping pussy once again. I am still feeling the after shocks of what just happened but I can't help to want more. I roll him over onto his back and straddle him. I ride him until I am close and then he grabs my hips and stops me. He sits up with me still straddling him and pulls my hair back and my head reluctantly follows. He whispers the words "not yet bitch" and I am flown out of my ecstasy and into shock. "you will come when I let you come" and I have this desire to please him again and hear my "good girl" again. I try my best to nob my head and he understands what I am trying to say.

With one quick hand behind my back he picks me up and carries me to the table. He lays me down and puts my legs on his shoulders. He enters me and I can feel him so deep inside me. He pounds away holding my legs against him, and then he drops them. He leans over and grabs my neck, and begins to thrust deep inside me. I start to quiver and he knows what is going to happen and I know the same will be true for him. Not but seconds later I feel him squirm and can feel him shooting into me. He collapses on top of me and before he can get out those words that I couldn't wait to hear, I whisper "good boy"

Very Busy Weekend

Enters in Q, stage left of coarse. How can I put how this happened, I am still trying to figure it out. Well, I normally spend my Sunday nights at a goth club. I know, I know, no I am not really goth, I just enjoy getting dressed up (it's like halloween every week) in what ever I want to wear and head down to dance among new friends. I tend to just dance and drink and then go home, not much to it. If you ever wondered, they are actually some of the nicest people I have ever met, you should really try it out sometime.

So there I am dancing (this is not one of those bump and grind clubs, its more solo move to the music) and all the sudden I feel two hands wrap onto my hips. I assume it is someone I know because no one at the club would come up and do this. I turn around and have no clue who the fuck this guy is, I am stunned. He just lets go and walks away. I take a minute to look around confused, seeking for some explanation in the crowd, nothing. Q realizes the look on my face and ask if I knew that guy, I explain to him that I didn't and ask if he did, nope still nothing on the hip bandit mystery.

That is when Q and I kind of hit it off, he sees that my drink is almost empty and ask if I would like another, um duh. Off we go to get more wasted.

So I will take a minute and explain him to you (by the way I totally fall for emo or goth guys, don't ask me why). He is 6 foot 4 to my 5 foot exact (I know I am tiny), Black hair with two orange stripes down the side (I guess I like this look because it means they have balls and don't care) His pants are hand made almost looking like something out of "A nightmare before Christmas" Orange eyes (make-up) another thing I find wildly attractive (still have no idea why) and black finger nail polish (hey we matched).

We hit it off, and end up going to a place for after hours, about two blocks away from my house. We sit around with the owner and drink and talk and drink and talk, I know we are so creative. Then the night is at a end, and where else better to go? My place!!! We end up back, but realizing its 5am on a Sunday and I am drunk and have to work (damn it, this is going to suck) we crash with nothing but our under ware on.

Wouldn't you just guess what happened, I slept in and was going to be late for work. I decide this hangover and the fact that I was still drunk was just too much to bear at work. I called out. Then Q and I decided that we still needed to get to know each other and also nurse our crappy hangovers. We head back to his place (this way his car won't get a ticket in the city). We hang out all day in bed, got some egg nogg and rum, and chatted the night away. He said that he normally doesn't meet new people like this (yea right) and that he was glad that he met me. We finally get back to sleep around 4am (damn tomorrow is going to suck). We decide that having sex right now is not a good thing and that maybe we should wait (Also M is going to be coming back soon and I really don't want to start a relationship). But if anything I think that we could be really good friends (naked friends even).

36 part two

As the night is winding down, and the weather is getting colder, and the look that I am getting from him seems to take me over, we head straight for my apartment. I want to play with him a little, I want him to crave to be inside me, I want to make him beg. Entering my apartment, I place a long sweet deep kiss, and pull away and look at him deeply and let him know that this is going to be a long night.

I push him back, onto my bed, and start to take off his jersey (I so love that he is a giants fan). I kiss gently around his neck and nibble on his ears, and can tell his breathing has gotten deeper. I slide down his chest, nibbling along the way, and stop short at his pants. He has a look of confusion on him, wondering what he might have done wrong. I get up and head towards the kitchen. I can only imagine what is going through his head. I return, with two drinks in my hands. I hand one to him and place the other on the table. I let him take a sip and then retrieve the drink back from him. I push him back again and take a sip of my drink, taking a piece of ice into my mouth with out him knowing. I then return to the spot that I had left. He seems excited, and almost relived. I place the cold from the ice onto his skin. He jumps, oh I do love to surprise a guy. He then returns to his state of joy. I unbutton his pants and take his throbbing cock out of his boxers. I trace the ice around the tip and his breath is rapid, almost panting. I then in one quick move move him in, filling my mouth, and I hear him whipper. I can tell that the cold water is running down.

I then come up, and hand him his drink. Oh the disappointed look on his face is so rewarding. I stand at the end of the bed and take the only piece of true clothing I was wearing off (my jersey). and stand before him with my come fuck me boots, and undies. His eyes have enlarged and his mouth has fallen open. "Put you drink down, and come to the edge of the bed." He gladly answers. I instruct him to take my clothes off, he does so eagerly. I straddle him and tease the tip of his cock with my slit. I can fell him thrusting and know he cant wait. I get off and take a sip of my drink, those puppy dog eyes make me smile viciously.

I return to the head of the bed, he comes up from the foot of the bed. Oh I do love when men know what the should be doing. I kiss him passionately. I grab his throbbing cock and stroke him, I then push him ever so slightly with one finger and he follows what I want him to do. He lays back and I straddle him, I slide ever so slowly down onto him. His back arches and his eyes roll back, my vicious smile returns. I begin to ride him and enjoy the way he seems to be squirming. Then my climax takes over me, and I collapse onto him in pure ecstasy.

He is not done with me, he places one hand behind my back and in one move I am filliped over. I can tell with the urgency that he is near. Placed on all fours, he enters me, grabbing at my hips. This is the point in time that I wish my headboard was a mirror so i could see what his face looks like. Pounding harder and harder I am in heaven, then I whisper a few words that almost throw him over the edge "spank me" and he kindly obliges. After a few more swats, I can tell he is near. I feel him shake and then he collapses. I might just have to keep this one around.

Too close for comfort

Before I get to "36 part two," which trust me it was so much fun. I thought I would talk about the guy from California. Oh god, thinking about him just makes me roll my eyes like a stupid third grader. It all started one drunken night (doesn't it always) and should of just stayed there. Anyways it went along the lines of shot, kiss, another shot, make out session, shot, passed out. Nothing really great, but I thought "Hey, he doesn't live here so what would it hurt." But I way oh so wrong. He left to fly back home the next day and we kept in touch. We both decided to meet up for a quick weekend and catch up. Big BIG mistake.

So he flew out to see me, and I was hopping his friends too, because too much time of one person is just a pain. Day 1, it was a late night out with "our friends" we got to catch up which mainly meant him standing by my side like a lost puppy. I mean, he is friends with these people, and they are friends with him too, he should be able to leave my side, but I think nothing of it because he just got into town.

Day2, much time spent in bed to nurse the hangover, but I am the type of person the likes to lay by myself (especially when it is so freaking hot outside and there is no AC in my apt). He won't quit trying to cuddle with me. I finally tell him "here is the line, cross it and I'll throw you out the door with no clothes." Finally it is time for him to go play golf with the guys (THANK GOD) and i get a little more quite time to myself. (which means me in bed with bad tv and junk food, my favorite past time). He heads out for the night with the guys and I am going to meet up with their girlfriends and meet them out later.

We all finally get to the same spot. And the next thing I know is Cali by my side, great here we go again. I mean he won't budge, I couldn't even go to the restroom with out him following me. I'm sure if I asked he would of wiped my ass for me. I grab his friend and tell him "If you don't make him stop I'm leaving" Needless to say he told his friend to just ignore me for the whole night, and you know what he did, he ignored me. Right? Wrong, he would just stare at me from across the room and everyone was noticing and mentioning how fucking creepy it was. I finally decide to make my get away. It worked, I went home and slept by myself.

Day 3, after spending the night at his friends house (my choice not his) and golfing the next day, we all decide to hang out again, fuck. I swear the entire time I wanted to just punch him. It got so bad, I mean the kid was practically in my lap while I was eating. I couldn't even cut my food he was so close my elbow wouldn't move. I gave up and got extremely drunk. I had to take him to the airport the next day so he had to spend the night, shit.

One more night, that is all I have to deal with right. So me being "drunk" I get home and "pass-out" Such a great plan I know. I wake up, probably around 4am to get some water, and OH MY GOD he was sitting over me just starting. Now most people might find this cute for couples to do, but we are no where near a couple. Long story short I tell him to go to bed, get him to the airport a little (ok a lot) too early, and finally breath and dance in my car on the way home. Al I have to say is Martin Luther King Jrs. "free at last, free at last" just kept going through my mind.

I catch up with my friends, and his too, and they tell me about the night that I ditched him, and kind of dumped him on them (I know, I know, I can be a bad friend but after that story you understand). They tell me about how he got drunk took a bottle of something up on their roof of their apartment and practically almost jumped off, because I had left. They had to talk him down! WTF!!! Anyways, all I have to say is thank god he lives a few states away.

But know he is calling and texting and wanting to come back out. I have been dodging it for the past two months, but I think it's time to tell him I am not interested. Maybe I should tell him I got married or something. Any advice is welcome, really welcome. And I promise the next post will be about 36, now that brings a smile to my face, oh and the therapist to follow. (I have been very busy!).

Update as of Last Night!
I received 3 text messages and 2 voice mails (I didn't answer because I was asleep). All professing his love for me, and wanting me to be the mother of his kids (oh god the though of having sex with him makes me want to throw up). I know it was drunk, but you tend to say a lot of true things when you are drunk. That's it, I'm pretending that I am married. Anyone want to be my fake husband?

36

Now I am not one for discriminating against who I have sex with. I like the young (legal of coarse) and the older. I enjoy all different types of ethnicity. This is where 36 comes in. I was doing my usual Sunday routine, my favorite bar, $2 bloody marys, and my Giants (man they are having a great season, and no don't ask me about the idiot who shot himself, dumbass). Now at this bar, it is a very varied crowd. It's not a bar where there is just one favorite team, it's a very chill type of bar (if you include penalty flags being thrown, tons of yelling at the tvs, and the occasional chest bumps). I am normally the only regular giants fan, but sometime a few people that I know will come in and we catch up.
As I am sitting around with Jersey ( haven't figured him out yet, but who can figure out a Jets fan?) in enters 36. Now mind you he looks really good for his age and when he tilts his head just so he has the Ben Aflack (not sure if that is how you spell it) look about him. We have our normal conversation (stat sharing) and begin to cheer for our G-men against the loud and obnoxious Red Skins fans (sometimes they can be worst then a Cowboys fan).
Needless to say that our day started at 11am and didn't end till two (man my bar tab was expensive that day). Everything started to get a little more interesting when we decided to play pool (I really really really suck at pool). So the bet is made and lost. The next bar that we go to I have to wear nothing but my jersey and boy shorts and a pair of knee-high boots. Needless to say.... I got a lot of looks that night. So there I was in nothing buy my boots, Tiki Barber jersey, and my oh so not covering as much as it should underwear. We are off to the next bar. Luckily it is cold and I can get away with wearing my long coat. As the night continues, and the bar hopping takes place, I proceed to make my own fun up. If the guys want to take me around and have everyone look at me odd, then I am going to take them to a bar where they will feel the same. And so we end up at a goth bar. Now mind you their in jerseys, jeans and tennis shoes. So I am not the only one out of place.
By this time with my new found drunken courage, 36 and I nestle up in a corner and begin to make out heavily, while his friend is off to find a partner of his own.
The night is ending, the lights are coming on, and your realizing you have been out for way too long and maybe they changed the clock? I have found my entertainment for the night and his friend has found his, and we say our good byes. I can tell the eyes on mister 36 and know exactly what is going to happen next.

The Ex part 2, and M's introduction.

And we have done it again, in our normal record time (less then a week). But I think I almost initiated this one, I actually know that I did. I am just more into the thought of him rather then being with him. Plus, there is also another reason.

I'll call him M. We meet when all my friends would want to save money but still hang out. We would pick whose building we would hang out in front of and chill on their stoops. Everyone would bring their own choice of beverage. Thankfully in downtown Denver the cops really don't care if your outside your place having fun, as long as you don't run around causing disturbances.
I met M one night and we completely hit it off. We sat kind of off from the group at first, just trying to get to know each other. We both had our Ipods on us and decided to create a play list for each other. I listened to his while he picked the songs, and he was listing to mine while I picked the songs (I know totally high school behavior, but at least we had drinks). Eventually my bottle (or two) of wine got the best of me and I lost track of time and M.

Oh well, another guy that I had meet and had a good time with, no big deal. Then I saw him a few weeks later, we decided to exchange numbers and catch up. He meet me at my favorite bar a few days later. I there learned that he was moving back home (east coast). We decided that we would keep it casual and just hang out and have fun. So for the last week that he was in town we spent all of our time together. Hung out all day in my bed, had sex whenever we both got hot and bothered, ordered in and basically never left the house. Then he had to leave. We decided to keep in touch, he wanted to come back and visit and I was all for that.

A few weeks passed, talking maybe once or twice a week. Then I got a great phone call. He decided that he was moving back home, it wasn't working and wasn't as good as he thought it would be. He wanted to come back! So after New Years he is going to come back and live with me until he can find a place. I can't wait.

The Cowboy

Ahhh... I do have to say that I always fall for a man in a great cowboy hat, and last night was no exception. While out with my friends, at our local bar, I spotted this tall dark and hansom man wearing a black cowboy hat all dressed in black. This guy was seriously the twin on Adrian Grenier, serious eye candy.

My friends and I decide to go over to the other side, or venue, of the bar. They have some people spinning and they are playing some really good music (or at least the tipsy part of me thought so). My friends and I are dancing, being our usual hilarious selves, when over my shoulder I catch the cowboy looking my way. I flirt a little with my eyes until he gets the hint and heads over in my direction. There was no talk, no names, and best of all no delay. The only words expressed that evening was "Let's find somewhere a little more quiet" We head back to my apartment, only a block away and quite convenient.

We barely make it into my apartment, and he has me pinned against the wall. He leans in and kisses me, oh god what a great kisser. He has my hands pinned up above me and with one quick motion he places his arm behind me, picks me up and tosses me onto the bed. He then leans over me and starts to take off his shirt. I then get up on the bed and on to my knees and help him remove a barrier that no longer needs to exist. At this he becomes excited and decides that he wants to be in control again. He reaches down and in one quick motion my shirt is off. Towering over me he pushes me back onto the bed and climbs on top of me. He begins to kiss me which just makes me want more of him, with one hand placed beside me he takes the other and slowly undoes my pants. I can't wait and long and decide to help him out, but he grabs my wandering hand and pins it to the bed. He wants to make me suffer, he wants me to ache for him more.

Finally he has my pants off and he slowly lowers and move my lace panties to the side. With that his tong has found my wet slit and is pushing into me. My breath starts to quicken and he notices the change. He takes his hand and slide a finger into me, I quickly thrust my hips so that I can feel him in there deeper. I am running my hands through his hair enjoying every minute. I soon begin to quiver and shake and he notices I am about to cum. He stops.

Confused and frustrated I decide that it is time for me to take charge. I grab his hair and yank him up, I then use my legs to flip him over, I sit straddling him. For his good behavior in following my lead I give him a very deep kiss, I can taste myself on him. I lower my body down him and then proceed to take his pants off. In one quick moment I realize his breath has also started to heighten. After little struggle he is laying stark naked on my bed, and I am enjoying the sight. I the decide to return the favor. I slowly take his hard cock into my mouth, I slowly take it deeper and deeper, wanting to make him suffer like he made me. I take his throbbing cock out of my mouth and slowly trace circles with my tong around the head. I can see his frustrations growing. I decide he has suffered long enough and climb my way back on top of him. I notice his hat laying on the floor, I grab it and put it on. If you can imagine, me straddling him, completely naked and wearing nothing but a black cowboy hat. I reach down and press his hard dick at the opening of my soaking wet pussy. This makes him start to push up so to enter me. I allow it, and I slide down onto him. I let out a gasp and start to enjoy myself.

Ahh the Ex.

So in the post below this I had mentioned having dinner with my Ex. We have always had this love and hate relationship, don't know why but we just do. We decided to do dinner and then go and sit in his hot tub. Nothing really happened up until we got into the hot tub (well of coarse this is always the case for anyone, hot tubs can be a very dangerous place). We sit around and chat, you know the whole "catching up questions." How are your parents? How is work? Anything to keep from an uncomfortable silence and to keep from really talking about what we need to talk about. Finally after much dancing around the topic we come to the point where we are forced to talk, or at least that is what I though would happen.
He gazes at me and I realize that look. We are sitting opposite each other and he moves over and grabs my hips and pulls me on top of him so that I am straddling him. With that he takes the back of my neck and pulls me into him. I remember at that moment what kissing him felt like and just let myself fall into him. We are passionately kissing and all of these thoughts are running through my head. I stop and pull away, telling him this is not such a good idea. We need to "talk" before anything goes to far (I know really girly). Well needless to say that is not what the majority of my body wanted to do, but thankfully (at least I say this now) other people decided to join the hot tub. I guess I should mention he lives in a condo, his neighbors didn't just jump the fence and join right on in. We converse politely with the couple and then decided that we need to get back upstairs.
After a few more amazingly hot kisses on the couch, it is about the point of no return. Do I stay the night or do I insist that he drive me home? Well this is the point in time that I decide What would it really hurt if I stayed the night....
We retire to bed and as I am so use to doing with him I just strip down naked and jump under the covers (its freezing). I wait for him to finish brushing his teeth and join me. Once in bed the heat is turned way up. With deep kisses and hands traveling and touching everything things becomes very apparent and what is to happen next. At this point I snap out of my stupidity and my rational voice sounds off and I stop. I don't know where this would go (the relation ship not the sex) and I am not sure if I want to travel down that rode again. So while half of me is really into the thought of sex with him the other is more into how I will feel about this later. I decide to stop, I tell him " we need to work this out and make sure that we do the right thing." With that we call it a night. Man I really need to quit working on my emotions.

What am I getting myself into?

So one of the reasons that I am trying to remain single is because of a guy that I am going to see tonight. A little history might be in order before I go on about how this all came about.
We meet two and 1/2 years ago when I first moved to Denver. I didn't really know anyone and basically moved out here for work. I meet him at a bar, the owner had invited me and said that i would enjoy myself. Knowing really know one I found it my time to network. I was outside smoking and on the phone with the boyfriend that I had left back in New York. He walked up to me and I turned around and just stared. Here is this guy standing right next to me, looking at me, and listening to my phone call. I hung the phone up and he said, sorry to interrupt I just wanted to say you have some amazing legs." Here is the point where I'm like great I am getting hit on by some jerk with a a stupid pick up line. I say thanks and turn to leave. He then proceeds "sorry, I didn't want it to seem like a pick up line, but you do. I am a runner and can tell you are as well." I am very intrigued. Yes I am a runner and we continue conversation for a while and I decide, hey I know no one here why not give him my number.
A few days later he ask me out. At this time I have lost "my buzz" and decide maybe he is not my type. After many simple "no thank you" responses he send me a text, of him, with his shirt off, in the mirror. Oh my god, was that not one of the hottest most sculpted bodies but also the most ballsy thing a guy has ever done to get me to go out on a date with him, so I agree(plus he looks very close to Mario Lopez). We hit it off and continue dating.
We get to the point in our relationship where we say "i love you" and have meet each others' families. And then one day out of the blue we get into a huge argument and he tells me he has never loved me and never will. Needless to say I leave the relationship heartbroken. He then comes back to me and tells me he is an idiot and I take him back. Then I find out the business trip that he went on was more for pleasure. I break up with him. He comes back tells me how much of an idiot he is and I take him back (do you see a pattern yet). After a while I feel I can not trust him even though nothing really has happened since his trip and we break up. Ok this last cycle repeats it self for about another year, we break up we get back together it really is very toxic. I must really be into inflicting pain on myself. I him (if you watch sex and the city) to mister big.
So there is the history and now I have agreed to have dinner with him (are companies work together so there is little change of us "never talking again"). One side of me is happy and the other side is filled with doubts. On one hand he is ok in bed ( I say ok because my sexual side has gone more to the S&M side and he is more of a vanilla kind of guy). We did have a wonderful sexlife when we first got together, but I know now there are things that I like in bed that just might scare him. On the other lesser hand, he is well established in his career and really has nothing to worry about. He wants kids and marriage (he is 35) and I want to travel and just live, I do believe that I won't ever have kids ( I'm 23 btw).
I will see how dinner goes and let you all know what happens. Advice appreciated.

The wrong car?

Well it was Sunday, and my Sunday's consist of me going down to my favorite bar and watching my team ( the Giants). And before you go "Oh god, here is another girl that likes the team that won the Superbowl" I was born and raised a Giants fan. This is what my family has done for as long as I can remember. The first thing my Dad taught me was to throw my hands in the air and yell "Touchdown Giants." This is also the first thing I taught my little brother.





So Sundays at the bar with my friends. They are not Giants fans but they come watch me jump all over the place. There we are $2 bloody Marys, Cowboys vs. Giants, and great company. I'm sending my dad updates by text (the wife wouldn't let him out to see it). The fun all started at 2pm which quickly turns into a very long night.





We stick around for my friend J's birthday and drink more. At this point everyone decides to move bars. We all pay our tabs and leave. At this point I am pretty drunk (it's about 9 and I have been going since 2). I am walking down the street and look to my right and see a land rover with three guys in it. So I yell at them "Go Giants" as I am wearing my Tiki Barber jersey. For some reason (the drinks) I run to the car and just jump in. My intention is to go a few blocks, hopefully closer to the bar that we are going to, jump out and thank them. Well it didn't happen quite as I had planned.





They were all impressed with my "out-goingness" and we start to talk. They are all gay and going to the gay strip club! What luck do I have, and they decide that I have to come with them. With no complaints I go to the strip club. What a shock. Now, I am not homophobic or anything just my normal bar does not consist of a lot of men striping and a lot of customers being older, I mean cane in hand older. Which made me wonder if they were married, if they were this open when they were younger, and many other things that I wanted to know. But me being about the only girl there decides its best to keep to my newly found friends. Which turns out to be a really good idea. I first discover that they are all not gay, the hot one is bi ( I am perfectly ok with all of this and rather intrigued). This is the point that he decides to kiss me, and it was very hot. But then sadly enough (insert sarcasm here) he has to go do his job and strip.



While waiting around I bump into another fellow girl and decide to stick closely to her. We pick a table and decide to watch the fun unfold. All I have to say ladies is I thought guys stripping wouldn't be as interesting as seeing a girl strip, but I was oh so wrong. I was mesmerized, staring at these perfect bodies moving around me. I mean there stomachs and thighs are just up on stage for me to enjoy. The perfectly sculpted muscles are just perfect eye candy. I literally can't help but to think of many possibilities for my stripper and me. I watch him walk around and talking to guys and strangely this is more of a turn on then a turn off.



I lost track of time and before I know it last call was upon me. The guy, that I have been playing eye games with as he dances and stealing forbidden kisses from when the manager is not looking, decides to program his number into my phone. With no objections from me, I gladly hand over my phone. But damn, the manager sees this and comes over to state that it was not allowed and strictly forbidden. At this point he has to go back and change and I have to leave because the bar is closing. Damn.



With that I decide that it is better just to go home instead of looking like the girl that is standing outside a gay strip club waiting on some one. Not what I really want to do at this time of the night. Oh well, maybe ill go back and see if I can't find him again, this time with one of my gay friends so I don't look so odd in the crowd. Until then I'll just have sweet dreams.

Doctor Doctor

Well, as many of you know, Halloween is for girls to have an excuse to dress up like sluts, this is really not my cup of tea. I had planed something that was a little more low key so I could be my hyper self and not worry if my ass is falling out of the costume. I got my costume from the little boys department and just wore my superman man shirt and jeans (I am a very tiny lady only about 5'1). Nothing fancy just something so that I was looking the part. I went out with my regular crew and got the night going.

It all started out with our normal shinanigans. My friend K and her boyfriend (toy) decided to dress up like the Juno couple. She was of coarse "pregnat" at this point (about 4 drinks in) I decided that we needed a picture of her giving "birth" to Superman aka me. Which led into so many different situations and trouble.

Need less to say, I was a few drinks in when one of my friends decided to set me up with his friend. A doctor with the last name doctor (spelled differently of coarse, hey I am kind of nice not giving out identity). So everyone called him doctor doctor. He was dressed as a pirate, a doctor doctor pirate. He was a little to "cocky" for my taste but he was at least nice to look at. Around this time he is starting to flirt heavily with me and I want to evade alot of his passes. So this is my time to show him that he is not the one calling the shots. I grab his plastic sword and proceed to smack him with it every time he becomes annoying. And then I realize that he might just be into this type of treatment (Score one for the home team).

I guess I should take a side note and tell you that I like a lot of biting, hair pulling and spanking in my sex life, or everyday life for that matter. Something about it seems so raw and animistic.

Anyways, back to me beating up the Pirate doctor. It was fun, he kept telling me how much he had a high pain tolerance and I took full advantage of this. I was biting him to the point where he would almost bleed, and then he would come back and try and test my even higher pain tolerance, poor boy didn't have a chance. This went on for a while but then we ended at our final bar. The ladies bath room was on the other side of the bar, where their seemed to magically be no people. I took this as my chance to see what this doctor was all about and if he had passed his female anatomy class, and also worth taking home later. The bathroom was one of those where it was a single room and the door locked so no one could get in and no one would really think that you are in a stall making out and getting hot and heavy. On one side is a nice table so I decide that I will sit right there and proceed with this makeout session. Damn I do have to say he is one hell of a kisser, at least of what I remember (drink 8 by now).

Then and there I decided to take him home. I hailed a cab and we were off. Everything at that point started to become a blur. Whose hand is whose and why were we not in my bed yet. I learned a new rule that night never travel too far away from home if you can help it. Finally after dying to get into my front door we make it. Finally we are in and clothes are flying everywhere. Finally making our way to my bed room, one thought occurs "Shit I'm out of Condoms" so i ask him if he has some and he says he does not and that it would be ok.

Yea go ahead, read that last sentence again. A doctor is telling me it would be ok with out one. I'm Sorry, at that point I tell him to get dressed and leave. Damn, there went my night of fun. Oh well maybe next time.

The Begining

I guess I should start out by saying that I am not sure why I started this other then the fact that its not something you really want all the people you really know in your life to find out. I mean sure I have my very close friends that know about my....activities, but for the most part sometimes you just have to get things off your chest. And also I need to look busy at work.

I have decided that after being in relationship after relationship that I need to stay single and date for awhile. So this is going to be new ground for me. I guess as time continues on you will learn more about me.

I have been named by my freinds as "Smartass" and I am truely that. I don't do fake, I let you know how things are and dont really care. So with that being said and for the future of this blog, I really don't care if you love me or hate me, but it's easier to love me.