So in the post below this I had mentioned having dinner with my Ex. We have always had this love and hate relationship, don't know why but we just do. We decided to do dinner and then go and sit in his hot tub. Nothing really happened up until we got into the hot tub (well of coarse this is always the case for anyone, hot tubs can be a very dangerous place). We sit around and chat, you know the whole "catching up questions." How are your parents? How is work? Anything to keep from an uncomfortable silence and to keep from really talking about what we need to talk about. Finally after much dancing around the topic we come to the point where we are forced to talk, or at least that is what I though would happen.
He gazes at me and I realize that look. We are sitting opposite each other and he moves over and grabs my hips and pulls me on top of him so that I am straddling him. With that he takes the back of my neck and pulls me into him. I remember at that moment what kissing him felt like and just let myself fall into him. We are passionately kissing and all of these thoughts are running through my head. I stop and pull away, telling him this is not such a good idea. We need to "talk" before anything goes to far (I know really girly). Well needless to say that is not what the majority of my body wanted to do, but thankfully (at least I say this now) other people decided to join the hot tub. I guess I should mention he lives in a condo, his neighbors didn't just jump the fence and join right on in. We converse politely with the couple and then decided that we need to get back upstairs.
After a few more amazingly hot kisses on the couch, it is about the point of no return. Do I stay the night or do I insist that he drive me home? Well this is the point in time that I decide What would it really hurt if I stayed the night....
We retire to bed and as I am so use to doing with him I just strip down naked and jump under the covers (its freezing). I wait for him to finish brushing his teeth and join me. Once in bed the heat is turned way up. With deep kisses and hands traveling and touching everything things becomes very apparent and what is to happen next. At this point I snap out of my stupidity and my rational voice sounds off and I stop. I don't know where this would go (the relation ship not the sex) and I am not sure if I want to travel down that rode again. So while half of me is really into the thought of sex with him the other is more into how I will feel about this later. I decide to stop, I tell him " we need to work this out and make sure that we do the right thing." With that we call it a night. Man I really need to quit working on my emotions.