Wednesday, December 24, 2008

A little more on Q

So not sure what I am doing, but Q and I have really hit it off. He is even coming over for Christmas dinner to meet the family. Holy crap what am I doing, I guess I will have to figure that out when the time comes.

As I mentioned earlier, Q and I have decided to refrain from sex. I know, I know what you are thinking, but I think it might be a good thing (ok so I think its a good and bad thing, you got me). We have spent almost every night together except for one. We sleep naked (I hate clothing). We stay up till about 4 every morning talking and watching stupid you tube videos. Every morning we wake up (I need a night job so that I can sleep in on the mornings) and just lay around and cuddle. The more I wright this the more it seems like we are high school kids that have parents that trust us and know we won't have sex.

So this all leads me to this point.... I don't think that I can wait much longer. It's killing me. I have had sex on a regular basis for 9 years now. The longest I think that I have ever gone is maybe a month, and that was because I was severely depressed not because I couldn't get it.
I am at the point of just jumping him and tying him down (wow that brought a memory to mind, another post I promise). I have no clue. I know that he wants to wait and make sure that things are good between us, but honestly I really don't believe that bull crap.

Guys, when a girl says this to you, what is your response? I just don't get it. What if after a few months and lots of time and care of the relationship, the sex ends up being really really bad? Do you walk away? Do you try and work on it? I fully believe that sexual compatibility happens the first time and that working on it will never work. What do you think? Should I grab my silk ropes or wait?

A Little bit of an update....

Thanks for all you comments and I just want to clarify a few things. First, yes the first time is not always mind blowing but you know if you mesh or not. I know that I am not going to see fireworks, but I will know if I am rolling my eyes and hating every minute. Second, no sex is not the only thing to a relationship, but it is healthy to the relationship. Most relationships end because of the lack of or quality. Everything between Q and I is great, just no sex. It just seems a little odd.


Merlin said...

A complicated question, so please forgive the complicated answer.

In my experience, sex is rarely good the first time two people try it. No matter how close your friendship is, you don't know each other sexually until you've done it a few times--till he's learned things like where your G-spot is and whether you like or loathe having your clit nibbled, and you've learned which parts of his cock are the most sensitive and whenther he likes you loud or quiet.

If the rest of the relationship is good and the first time sex is not, my guess is that you'll do better the more you work at it and communicate what you like and don't like, in a noncritical way.

If there are problems in your nonsexual relationship, good sex isn't going to cure them, and maybe it's better to break up and find a new partner. Likewise if you find you don't like how his body looks, how he smells or how he acts during sex.

Anonymous said...

Oooh difficult one. It's tough because you don't want to make sex THE sole decider but I know first hand how important it is and how not being on the same page sexually can really make other parts complicated and possibly even just make things suck.

In my opinion, you should just talk to him about it. Yes, it kind of sucks planning whether you'll have sex or not but if he understands your reasons for having sex as opposed to waiting and vice versa, maybe it will help you figure out if you're on the same page sexually or even haha. If nothing else you can tell him it's just something you need to do in order to decide what you wanna do with him... or else be ok with just being friends. Tough one indeed.

Anonymous said...

To be honest don't know if I could do it. I think sexual compatibility is so important. but Kudos to you. I am happy you are happy!