Too close for comfort

Before I get to "36 part two," which trust me it was so much fun. I thought I would talk about the guy from California. Oh god, thinking about him just makes me roll my eyes like a stupid third grader. It all started one drunken night (doesn't it always) and should of just stayed there. Anyways it went along the lines of shot, kiss, another shot, make out session, shot, passed out. Nothing really great, but I thought "Hey, he doesn't live here so what would it hurt." But I way oh so wrong. He left to fly back home the next day and we kept in touch. We both decided to meet up for a quick weekend and catch up. Big BIG mistake.

So he flew out to see me, and I was hopping his friends too, because too much time of one person is just a pain. Day 1, it was a late night out with "our friends" we got to catch up which mainly meant him standing by my side like a lost puppy. I mean, he is friends with these people, and they are friends with him too, he should be able to leave my side, but I think nothing of it because he just got into town.

Day2, much time spent in bed to nurse the hangover, but I am the type of person the likes to lay by myself (especially when it is so freaking hot outside and there is no AC in my apt). He won't quit trying to cuddle with me. I finally tell him "here is the line, cross it and I'll throw you out the door with no clothes." Finally it is time for him to go play golf with the guys (THANK GOD) and i get a little more quite time to myself. (which means me in bed with bad tv and junk food, my favorite past time). He heads out for the night with the guys and I am going to meet up with their girlfriends and meet them out later.

We all finally get to the same spot. And the next thing I know is Cali by my side, great here we go again. I mean he won't budge, I couldn't even go to the restroom with out him following me. I'm sure if I asked he would of wiped my ass for me. I grab his friend and tell him "If you don't make him stop I'm leaving" Needless to say he told his friend to just ignore me for the whole night, and you know what he did, he ignored me. Right? Wrong, he would just stare at me from across the room and everyone was noticing and mentioning how fucking creepy it was. I finally decide to make my get away. It worked, I went home and slept by myself.

Day 3, after spending the night at his friends house (my choice not his) and golfing the next day, we all decide to hang out again, fuck. I swear the entire time I wanted to just punch him. It got so bad, I mean the kid was practically in my lap while I was eating. I couldn't even cut my food he was so close my elbow wouldn't move. I gave up and got extremely drunk. I had to take him to the airport the next day so he had to spend the night, shit.

One more night, that is all I have to deal with right. So me being "drunk" I get home and "pass-out" Such a great plan I know. I wake up, probably around 4am to get some water, and OH MY GOD he was sitting over me just starting. Now most people might find this cute for couples to do, but we are no where near a couple. Long story short I tell him to go to bed, get him to the airport a little (ok a lot) too early, and finally breath and dance in my car on the way home. Al I have to say is Martin Luther King Jrs. "free at last, free at last" just kept going through my mind.

I catch up with my friends, and his too, and they tell me about the night that I ditched him, and kind of dumped him on them (I know, I know, I can be a bad friend but after that story you understand). They tell me about how he got drunk took a bottle of something up on their roof of their apartment and practically almost jumped off, because I had left. They had to talk him down! WTF!!! Anyways, all I have to say is thank god he lives a few states away.

But know he is calling and texting and wanting to come back out. I have been dodging it for the past two months, but I think it's time to tell him I am not interested. Maybe I should tell him I got married or something. Any advice is welcome, really welcome. And I promise the next post will be about 36, now that brings a smile to my face, oh and the therapist to follow. (I have been very busy!).

Update as of Last Night!
I received 3 text messages and 2 voice mails (I didn't answer because I was asleep). All professing his love for me, and wanting me to be the mother of his kids (oh god the though of having sex with him makes me want to throw up). I know it was drunk, but you tend to say a lot of true things when you are drunk. That's it, I'm pretending that I am married. Anyone want to be my fake husband?