Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

I am so not computer savy

Dose anyone know how to post a video on here, its from you tube and I can not figure it out.

A Memory

So since I am not getting any lately I thought that I would dig into my memories and share one of my all time favorites. We will call him J. J and I dated for a summer, he was emotionally screwed up but I stuck around for the amazing sex. We were not about dates and anniversaries (thank god) but more about hanging out with friends at the bar and leaving to have sex (thank god). Well my birthday falls around the summer time so can you guess what my birthday present was, you guessed it sex (is there anything better).

So all of my friends and I went to our favorite bar and toasted my birthday. Last call comes around and J and I head back to my place. He had gotten my flowers and paid for my drinks, I thought that was going to be it and that was all I cared for, but I was oh so wrong. We got home and I jumped on the computer to put in a movie so my neighbors wouldn't be too disturbed. He stopped me and told me he had brought a movie for us to watch. I let him put it in as I got ready for bed. I turned around and there he was standing with a movie in one hand and ropes in the other. My heart quickened. I gave him a devilish smile and asked "are those for me or are those for you" with which he quickly replied "Its your birthday, they are for you silly. I am going to tie you down and pleasure you, but you won't cum until the end of this movie." I was half smiling and half scared. A hour and more with being tied to the bed and not being able to cum.....bring it on.

I laid down and let him tie me up. At first he just tied my hands up, one to each corner of the bed. I lay there completely naked, completely vulnerable, but my sense had heightened and I could feel every inch of me trembling. Then he blind folded me. I fell back and let him just take over, he kissed me deeply and started the movie, and my birthday present.

He started with just running his hands up and down the sides of my body, provoking me to wiggle when ever he got to a tickle spot. Then he placed his lips, so gently, onto my neck and gave me a sweet tinder kiss. Moving quickly he look one of my hard nipples into his mouth and bit just enough to make me cry out. I could see him smiling in my mind, he moved to the other and began to lick all around it. I could feel pleasure rising in me and knew that I was not going to make it through the whole movie, I couldn't even tell how far along the movie was. He slipped one hand under my back and the other roamed my soaking pussy. His lips were back to my neck as he teased me. Not touching, but just gently gliding his hand over, not giving enough pressure to please, but just enough to tease and make me try and push against his hand. He took one finger and gently and slowly pulled my slit apart. He kissed me all the way down to the top of my clit. I was sure that I was going to get some sort of release.

He flicked my clit with his tongue and I shook. I wanted more, I wanted to have him in me, filling me completely, but I was denied. He stopped, I could fell him on the bed still but I could not tell what he was doing, this blindfold was getting to be annoying but fun. Then I hear a click and a buzzing started. "I hope you like your new toy" and with that he placed the vibrating thing onto my clit and I about jumped. He quickly pulled it away and said "remember your not going to get to come until the movie is over and it is no where close to being over." With that he placed the vibration deep inside me, enough to make feel some pleasure but enough to where I always wanted more. He continued to lick my dripping cunt and every time I came close he would stop and I would sigh. By the end of the movie I was drained and frustrated, I was hating this birthday present. Two hours of not being able to come once, I was done but couldn't do anything about it.

I am not sure but I do believe the movie had ended, at this point I had lost all tract of time and senses. He untied me, I almost felt like a wild animal and wanted to pounce on him right then and there. I lurched for him and he caught me by my wrist. He flipped me around and place me on my stomach. He grab both of my hands and tied them together and then to the bed. He grabbed my hips and lifted me up. In one quick move he thrust into me and I moaned in complete pleasure. The movie had ended and I didn't even know it. He pounded me hard as if he knew that was what I needed. I lost track of time and space and enjoyed every orgasm that rushed over me. It was truly a great birthday.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

A little more on Q

So not sure what I am doing, but Q and I have really hit it off. He is even coming over for Christmas dinner to meet the family. Holy crap what am I doing, I guess I will have to figure that out when the time comes.

As I mentioned earlier, Q and I have decided to refrain from sex. I know, I know what you are thinking, but I think it might be a good thing (ok so I think its a good and bad thing, you got me). We have spent almost every night together except for one. We sleep naked (I hate clothing). We stay up till about 4 every morning talking and watching stupid you tube videos. Every morning we wake up (I need a night job so that I can sleep in on the mornings) and just lay around and cuddle. The more I wright this the more it seems like we are high school kids that have parents that trust us and know we won't have sex.

So this all leads me to this point.... I don't think that I can wait much longer. It's killing me. I have had sex on a regular basis for 9 years now. The longest I think that I have ever gone is maybe a month, and that was because I was severely depressed not because I couldn't get it.
I am at the point of just jumping him and tying him down (wow that brought a memory to mind, another post I promise). I have no clue. I know that he wants to wait and make sure that things are good between us, but honestly I really don't believe that bull crap.

Guys, when a girl says this to you, what is your response? I just don't get it. What if after a few months and lots of time and care of the relationship, the sex ends up being really really bad? Do you walk away? Do you try and work on it? I fully believe that sexual compatibility happens the first time and that working on it will never work. What do you think? Should I grab my silk ropes or wait?

A Little bit of an update....

Thanks for all you comments and I just want to clarify a few things. First, yes the first time is not always mind blowing but you know if you mesh or not. I know that I am not going to see fireworks, but I will know if I am rolling my eyes and hating every minute. Second, no sex is not the only thing to a relationship, but it is healthy to the relationship. Most relationships end because of the lack of or quality. Everything between Q and I is great, just no sex. It just seems a little odd.

Monday, December 22, 2008

The Ex, how do you get rid of them

So my weekend went by with much of friends and drinking, and of coarse the Giants pulling that win out of their ass. Then on Friday night when I was hanging out with Q my ex decides, after two months with out talking, to send me a text. Seriously after I read it I just wanted to punch him in the face. It wasn't anything bad, but it was just plain retarded. I will let you judge....

"Hey, I know u hate me but Lelia just whispered in my ear and told me I should marry you."

There are so many things that are so irritating about this.
1) Where was this when we were together and I was completely and totally head over heels in love with him.
2) Just because he sends me that message does not mean I am just going to run into his arms and forget anything ever happened.
3) His 5 year old daughter is smarter then him. At least she knows something good when she sees it.

I didn't respond. I could think of anything other then to just say, "I lost my phone who is this" but that would of been to mean. Plus I really don't want to talk to him things with Q are going so well. Another post I promise.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

The Raver

I am not a big fan of raves, honestly if your not on something it is really not that fun. I think it all stems back to the point in time where my friends would all drag me, take some drug (acid, LSD, Ecstasy) and forget to tell me. They would sit on the booming speakers and the only thing I could think of was "this freaking sucks." I am sure if I was of age at the time I would of gotten drunk and had a blast. But the awful times just keep me away from any type of raver club that would drive me crazy. I have to hold on to as much sanity as I have left, if there is any.

One very stimulating Friday night my friend, we will call her lady S, decides we need to go out dancing. Yea, I love to dance, it is one of my favorite things. We must of went to about 5 different bars until we ended up in one that was somewhat decent, except for the lovely raver type music. Well at this point I am tipsy and just want to stay put and drink some more. After about, oh I don't know, 5 more drinks, I am really into it. So I am dancing and happen to back into (ok you got me, trip, hey I was drunk what more do you want out of a girl in 4inch heels) and stubble upon raver. Oh, super cute shaggy type hair with amazing eyes. I grab his glow sticks, I want to play and I think he can tell. After about an hour or so, I decide it is time to go.

Back to my place (you know I have come to the realization that I really hate spending the night somewhere else, I mean really really hate it). We enter my apartment and I ask him if he would like a drink, and of coarse I am off to the kitchen. I return, and there he is pants unzipped and a huge erection just out there in the open, and I blush. How can this guy know what exactly I like (then I think, duh drinking, dancing, and ending up at my place "Hello captain obvious defender of the already known"). I coyly come over and sit on the couch. I take his hand away and place the drink in it. I look at him, take a sip of my drink, place it on the end table and begin to take over where his hand left off. He mutters the words "good girl" and I just about melt. The felling of praise is lifting my spirits and lowering my inhibitions. I slip off the couch and onto my knees, while taking off his pants. I slip the tip just barely between my lips. His looks down at me and grabs my hair, and thrust into my mouth. He lets out a growl and I know that I am in for a treat tonight. I continue for a while and then he looks at me and says "get up." I slide up between his legs and kiss him passionately. In one quick motion he scoops me up, lifting the dress that is barely existent he whispers into my ear "good girl" and gives me a rewarding smack on my ass.

The next thing I know is he is throwing my like a rag doll unto the bed. He yaks my skirt off, but leaves my thigh high white socks on and my black mary jane shoes. He tells me to get to the edge of the bed and bend over. I am there and can feel him pushing the tip of his dick at my opening. I squirm backward hoping that I can have more of him, and in one great stroke he thrust all the way in and I whimper. He leans down to my ear and whispers again "good girl." I can feel him thrusting deep and hard into me, he grabs my tits and pulls my back onto his chest. With one hand wrapped around my tits and the other traveling south, he has found my clit, and i squirm. As he is pumping into me and ravaging my clit, I can feel my climax coming. My breath heightens and my whimpers become moans, and soon I can't help myself but I am yelling. I shake violently as I reach my climax and he lets me fall onto the bed. He leans down and once again whispers "good girl."

He flips me over onto my back and enters my dripping pussy once again. I am still feeling the after shocks of what just happened but I can't help to want more. I roll him over onto his back and straddle him. I ride him until I am close and then he grabs my hips and stops me. He sits up with me still straddling him and pulls my hair back and my head reluctantly follows. He whispers the words "not yet bitch" and I am flown out of my ecstasy and into shock. "you will come when I let you come" and I have this desire to please him again and hear my "good girl" again. I try my best to nob my head and he understands what I am trying to say.

With one quick hand behind my back he picks me up and carries me to the table. He lays me down and puts my legs on his shoulders. He enters me and I can feel him so deep inside me. He pounds away holding my legs against him, and then he drops them. He leans over and grabs my neck, and begins to thrust deep inside me. I start to quiver and he knows what is going to happen and I know the same will be true for him. Not but seconds later I feel him squirm and can feel him shooting into me. He collapses on top of me and before he can get out those words that I couldn't wait to hear, I whisper "good boy"

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Very Busy Weekend

Enters in Q, stage left of coarse. How can I put how this happened, I am still trying to figure it out. Well, I normally spend my Sunday nights at a goth club. I know, I know, no I am not really goth, I just enjoy getting dressed up (it's like halloween every week) in what ever I want to wear and head down to dance among new friends. I tend to just dance and drink and then go home, not much to it. If you ever wondered, they are actually some of the nicest people I have ever met, you should really try it out sometime.

So there I am dancing (this is not one of those bump and grind clubs, its more solo move to the music) and all the sudden I feel two hands wrap onto my hips. I assume it is someone I know because no one at the club would come up and do this. I turn around and have no clue who the fuck this guy is, I am stunned. He just lets go and walks away. I take a minute to look around confused, seeking for some explanation in the crowd, nothing. Q realizes the look on my face and ask if I knew that guy, I explain to him that I didn't and ask if he did, nope still nothing on the hip bandit mystery.

That is when Q and I kind of hit it off, he sees that my drink is almost empty and ask if I would like another, um duh. Off we go to get more wasted.

So I will take a minute and explain him to you (by the way I totally fall for emo or goth guys, don't ask me why). He is 6 foot 4 to my 5 foot exact (I know I am tiny), Black hair with two orange stripes down the side (I guess I like this look because it means they have balls and don't care) His pants are hand made almost looking like something out of "A nightmare before Christmas" Orange eyes (make-up) another thing I find wildly attractive (still have no idea why) and black finger nail polish (hey we matched).

We hit it off, and end up going to a place for after hours, about two blocks away from my house. We sit around with the owner and drink and talk and drink and talk, I know we are so creative. Then the night is at a end, and where else better to go? My place!!! We end up back, but realizing its 5am on a Sunday and I am drunk and have to work (damn it, this is going to suck) we crash with nothing but our under ware on.

Wouldn't you just guess what happened, I slept in and was going to be late for work. I decide this hangover and the fact that I was still drunk was just too much to bear at work. I called out. Then Q and I decided that we still needed to get to know each other and also nurse our crappy hangovers. We head back to his place (this way his car won't get a ticket in the city). We hang out all day in bed, got some egg nogg and rum, and chatted the night away. He said that he normally doesn't meet new people like this (yea right) and that he was glad that he met me. We finally get back to sleep around 4am (damn tomorrow is going to suck). We decide that having sex right now is not a good thing and that maybe we should wait (Also M is going to be coming back soon and I really don't want to start a relationship). But if anything I think that we could be really good friends (naked friends even).

Friday, December 5, 2008

36 part two

As the night is winding down, and the weather is getting colder, and the look that I am getting from him seems to take me over, we head straight for my apartment. I want to play with him a little, I want him to crave to be inside me, I want to make him beg. Entering my apartment, I place a long sweet deep kiss, and pull away and look at him deeply and let him know that this is going to be a long night.

I push him back, onto my bed, and start to take off his jersey (I so love that he is a giants fan). I kiss gently around his neck and nibble on his ears, and can tell his breathing has gotten deeper. I slide down his chest, nibbling along the way, and stop short at his pants. He has a look of confusion on him, wondering what he might have done wrong. I get up and head towards the kitchen. I can only imagine what is going through his head. I return, with two drinks in my hands. I hand one to him and place the other on the table. I let him take a sip and then retrieve the drink back from him. I push him back again and take a sip of my drink, taking a piece of ice into my mouth with out him knowing. I then return to the spot that I had left. He seems excited, and almost relived. I place the cold from the ice onto his skin. He jumps, oh I do love to surprise a guy. He then returns to his state of joy. I unbutton his pants and take his throbbing cock out of his boxers. I trace the ice around the tip and his breath is rapid, almost panting. I then in one quick move move him in, filling my mouth, and I hear him whipper. I can tell that the cold water is running down.

I then come up, and hand him his drink. Oh the disappointed look on his face is so rewarding. I stand at the end of the bed and take the only piece of true clothing I was wearing off (my jersey). and stand before him with my come fuck me boots, and undies. His eyes have enlarged and his mouth has fallen open. "Put you drink down, and come to the edge of the bed." He gladly answers. I instruct him to take my clothes off, he does so eagerly. I straddle him and tease the tip of his cock with my slit. I can fell him thrusting and know he cant wait. I get off and take a sip of my drink, those puppy dog eyes make me smile viciously.

I return to the head of the bed, he comes up from the foot of the bed. Oh I do love when men know what the should be doing. I kiss him passionately. I grab his throbbing cock and stroke him, I then push him ever so slightly with one finger and he follows what I want him to do. He lays back and I straddle him, I slide ever so slowly down onto him. His back arches and his eyes roll back, my vicious smile returns. I begin to ride him and enjoy the way he seems to be squirming. Then my climax takes over me, and I collapse onto him in pure ecstasy.

He is not done with me, he places one hand behind my back and in one move I am filliped over. I can tell with the urgency that he is near. Placed on all fours, he enters me, grabbing at my hips. This is the point in time that I wish my headboard was a mirror so i could see what his face looks like. Pounding harder and harder I am in heaven, then I whisper a few words that almost throw him over the edge "spank me" and he kindly obliges. After a few more swats, I can tell he is near. I feel him shake and then he collapses. I might just have to keep this one around.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Too close for comfort

Before I get to "36 part two," which trust me it was so much fun. I thought I would talk about the guy from California. Oh god, thinking about him just makes me roll my eyes like a stupid third grader. It all started one drunken night (doesn't it always) and should of just stayed there. Anyways it went along the lines of shot, kiss, another shot, make out session, shot, passed out. Nothing really great, but I thought "Hey, he doesn't live here so what would it hurt." But I way oh so wrong. He left to fly back home the next day and we kept in touch. We both decided to meet up for a quick weekend and catch up. Big BIG mistake.

So he flew out to see me, and I was hopping his friends too, because too much time of one person is just a pain. Day 1, it was a late night out with "our friends" we got to catch up which mainly meant him standing by my side like a lost puppy. I mean, he is friends with these people, and they are friends with him too, he should be able to leave my side, but I think nothing of it because he just got into town.

Day2, much time spent in bed to nurse the hangover, but I am the type of person the likes to lay by myself (especially when it is so freaking hot outside and there is no AC in my apt). He won't quit trying to cuddle with me. I finally tell him "here is the line, cross it and I'll throw you out the door with no clothes." Finally it is time for him to go play golf with the guys (THANK GOD) and i get a little more quite time to myself. (which means me in bed with bad tv and junk food, my favorite past time). He heads out for the night with the guys and I am going to meet up with their girlfriends and meet them out later.

We all finally get to the same spot. And the next thing I know is Cali by my side, great here we go again. I mean he won't budge, I couldn't even go to the restroom with out him following me. I'm sure if I asked he would of wiped my ass for me. I grab his friend and tell him "If you don't make him stop I'm leaving" Needless to say he told his friend to just ignore me for the whole night, and you know what he did, he ignored me. Right? Wrong, he would just stare at me from across the room and everyone was noticing and mentioning how fucking creepy it was. I finally decide to make my get away. It worked, I went home and slept by myself.

Day 3, after spending the night at his friends house (my choice not his) and golfing the next day, we all decide to hang out again, fuck. I swear the entire time I wanted to just punch him. It got so bad, I mean the kid was practically in my lap while I was eating. I couldn't even cut my food he was so close my elbow wouldn't move. I gave up and got extremely drunk. I had to take him to the airport the next day so he had to spend the night, shit.

One more night, that is all I have to deal with right. So me being "drunk" I get home and "pass-out" Such a great plan I know. I wake up, probably around 4am to get some water, and OH MY GOD he was sitting over me just starting. Now most people might find this cute for couples to do, but we are no where near a couple. Long story short I tell him to go to bed, get him to the airport a little (ok a lot) too early, and finally breath and dance in my car on the way home. Al I have to say is Martin Luther King Jrs. "free at last, free at last" just kept going through my mind.

I catch up with my friends, and his too, and they tell me about the night that I ditched him, and kind of dumped him on them (I know, I know, I can be a bad friend but after that story you understand). They tell me about how he got drunk took a bottle of something up on their roof of their apartment and practically almost jumped off, because I had left. They had to talk him down! WTF!!! Anyways, all I have to say is thank god he lives a few states away.

But know he is calling and texting and wanting to come back out. I have been dodging it for the past two months, but I think it's time to tell him I am not interested. Maybe I should tell him I got married or something. Any advice is welcome, really welcome. And I promise the next post will be about 36, now that brings a smile to my face, oh and the therapist to follow. (I have been very busy!).

Update as of Last Night!
I received 3 text messages and 2 voice mails (I didn't answer because I was asleep). All professing his love for me, and wanting me to be the mother of his kids (oh god the though of having sex with him makes me want to throw up). I know it was drunk, but you tend to say a lot of true things when you are drunk. That's it, I'm pretending that I am married. Anyone want to be my fake husband?

Monday, December 1, 2008


Now I am not one for discriminating against who I have sex with. I like the young (legal of coarse) and the older. I enjoy all different types of ethnicity. This is where 36 comes in. I was doing my usual Sunday routine, my favorite bar, $2 bloody marys, and my Giants (man they are having a great season, and no don't ask me about the idiot who shot himself, dumbass). Now at this bar, it is a very varied crowd. It's not a bar where there is just one favorite team, it's a very chill type of bar (if you include penalty flags being thrown, tons of yelling at the tvs, and the occasional chest bumps). I am normally the only regular giants fan, but sometime a few people that I know will come in and we catch up.
As I am sitting around with Jersey ( haven't figured him out yet, but who can figure out a Jets fan?) in enters 36. Now mind you he looks really good for his age and when he tilts his head just so he has the Ben Aflack (not sure if that is how you spell it) look about him. We have our normal conversation (stat sharing) and begin to cheer for our G-men against the loud and obnoxious Red Skins fans (sometimes they can be worst then a Cowboys fan).
Needless to say that our day started at 11am and didn't end till two (man my bar tab was expensive that day). Everything started to get a little more interesting when we decided to play pool (I really really really suck at pool). So the bet is made and lost. The next bar that we go to I have to wear nothing but my jersey and boy shorts and a pair of knee-high boots. Needless to say.... I got a lot of looks that night. So there I was in nothing buy my boots, Tiki Barber jersey, and my oh so not covering as much as it should underwear. We are off to the next bar. Luckily it is cold and I can get away with wearing my long coat. As the night continues, and the bar hopping takes place, I proceed to make my own fun up. If the guys want to take me around and have everyone look at me odd, then I am going to take them to a bar where they will feel the same. And so we end up at a goth bar. Now mind you their in jerseys, jeans and tennis shoes. So I am not the only one out of place.
By this time with my new found drunken courage, 36 and I nestle up in a corner and begin to make out heavily, while his friend is off to find a partner of his own.
The night is ending, the lights are coming on, and your realizing you have been out for way too long and maybe they changed the clock? I have found my entertainment for the night and his friend has found his, and we say our good byes. I can tell the eyes on mister 36 and know exactly what is going to happen next.