Friday, November 27, 2009

And the crazyness starts all over again.

Well I have no idea where to begin. After being in Ga for the summer Q and I broke up. I had a feeling that while he was in Co and I was in Ga he was seeing someone else, and guess what I was right. Go me, I guess. I got back to Colorado and decided that I wasn't going to date anyone..... That lasted for about a minute. His name, well letter for the purpose of this blog, is K.

Well K and I get a long great. We are both super silly together. But in real terms we are more like really good friends. I mean the sex is there but its not super passionate. I mean I miss the super aggressive kissing, being completely intertwined. both bodies glistening with sweat just having your back arch from a full body orgasm. It has been a while that I must say.

Plus it put a lack on my story writing. And then on top of all of that Q is playing games with my head.....I hate it. I found out that at my new job I work with his current girlfriend. Well needless to say she is a bitch, not just to me but also everyone else. Then the other night he comes out to tell me that they broke up (doubt it) and then he attempts to kiss me a few times (but I wouldn't let him, I don't cheat). I can't get him out of my damn head.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

It has been a while

I know that I have not been keeping up with this, not much to really report.

I have been down in Georgia since may. Q and I have broken things off due a lot to the fact that we have not seen each other for a few months. Ahhh, and now I spend my days taking care of my mom since she had her surgery. As for a sex life, I've got nothing. Since Q left there is nothing. Oh well.... more when I know more.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Smiles all around, I guess

Well these past two weeks have been really eventful. I got laid off from work, which is a blessing and a bunch of shit. I know with the way the economy is it was bound to happen to the arts. I just really hope that the company will survive through all of this. Its sad that the government will bail out dumb fucks that put themselves there but not companies that actually deserve to have help. Oh well, what are you going to do.

With this I am headed back to Georgia to help out the family. My mom broke her collar bone and needs surgery so I am going to go and help. It will be nice to go home since I haven't been in two years. It will be nice to have a little vacation and see some old friends.

Q and I are doing very well. We had a wonderful night and morning, lets just say it left me with a smile on my face. A very big smile, a very much needed smile. More about that later.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Not much to say

Things in my life have been working themselves out some things have not, I feel almost odd.

A few friends that I have known, but have not kept in touch with over the years have passed away. While I feel sad, I feel worse that I lost contact. This also brought an old boyfriend back into my life. It has been about 4 years since I talked to him, and I have realized not much has changed but a a lot has, which seems very odd and has made me wonder.

While Q and I are still together things I guess are not going good. He did find this blog and has since been very upset with the whole me not telling him about M. Plus I know that he is pissed about other things on this blog, but I can't get a word in on it. We don't talk about it when we are in the right state of mind i.e. we have been out drinking. Which this argument has happened three times in the past week and a half. We can't get past this and its just depressing. With this all going on we have a non existent sex life. I can't even begin to tell you how long it has been because it has been that long, sigh. I just don't know what to do anymore.

I think I am going to move back to Georgia. I am really starting to miss my family and it just seems like a good idea. Like I said I just feel odd.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Somethings are back to normal

M is finally out of my apartment!!!!! Him and all of his shit are gone! I am so excited I should be doing back flips, but I can't so I will just smile and enjoy myself.

I got a blast from the past when my ex from GA contacted me on myspace. Its been about four years since I talked to him. He wrote "I have some really exciting news call me when you get this...." I can only thing that two things are to come of this, one he is getting married or having a kid (happens when your young and live in the south) or his band is going on tour and ending up in Denver. I am going to call him tonight when I get home and see what everything is about. It would be nice to catch up with him but I hate reliving memories with an ex.

Q and I had a good night last night. He cooked (because my idea of cooking involves a microwave and something in a plastic dish). It was good but took about four hours. So today I am dragging and just want to take a nap. Maybe if I shut my work door I will or just call it an early day and head home. Q has also turned me into a anime nerd, I have fallen in love with the series called Bleach, you should really check it out.

I also had a great weekend and Q, wink wink. I will write another post on that later when I am not at work.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Crazies in my life

So everything in my life that was a little on the crazy side has seemed to simmer down.

I had to kick M out of my place after being such a jerk to my friends that were spending the weekend with me. I asked him to leave for the weekend because me and three friends would of been to much in my apt. Well he left for the night and then showed up as we are all trying to get over our hang overs and just walks in like nothing is going on and that it is just a normal day. He comes in turns his computer and and just starts playing music (really loud), doesn't say hi or anything. I apologize to my friends and they pack their things up and leave (back to the mountains for work). I try and talk to M and he just keeps turning the music up. I look at him and tell him that he needs to be out by the end of the week. He flicks me off and puts it right in my face. I tell him he needs to get out right this minute. He says he is not leaving. I then have to call my best guy friend, A. He asked who I called and I said you will find out when they get here but the next person I am calling is my dad. So he left and for the past two weeks or more we have been going back and forth so to get his things from my apt. He has even gone as far as to call the cops. The only problem, its my apt and he has no legal standing.

Things with Q are going good. I mentioned before that he found my blog so I guess if he is still reading it then I should say Hi! We had a nice weekend I guess you could say he worked and I went out with friends and then we meet at my place later in the night. I am normally asleep and once I am out I am out. I remember as a kid growing up in Georgia there would be a lot of tornado's that would go through and I would sleep right through them, even thought the fire department was near our house and the sirens were so loud, it would never wake me up. We did get into some mischief Saturday and man has it been a long time. I will post more later on that, it was really really hot.

My grandmother came into town. And though I love her dearly I have a hard time connecting and having a conversation with her. So these next two weeks means that I will be spending more time with the family.

Now I am sitting at work, hating my job like there is no tomorrow. I am in the process of trying to find a new one but with the way everything is right now I am not sure that will happen any time soon.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

So I have decided

I am going to keep the blog, I am not going to make it private or censor what I have to say. If people that I know find it I really don't care. I have nothing to hide. If they don't like it then that is their problem. People know that I am very out going and I shouldn't be punished for that.

M and I have come to an understanding that he is moving out. I would feel bad if I just pushed him out the door without a place to stay. I am just not that mean of a person. So he will be around for a while more. I told him that he needs to find a few days during the week to hang out with friends and not stay at my apt so I have some breathing room. He knows that we are not going to work out and that I have been seeing someone else (Q).

Q and I are in a limbo. He found my blog and was pissed that I didn't tell him about M. So I figured we would of broken up (not that I cheated on him with M) because I hid this from him. But I am not sure what is going on. We still chat and still hang out. I am just so anxious about this...sigh.

On a happier note, I got two offers for dates. Not that I am going to take them up on it (everything is so complicated right now) but it is nice to know that people are still out there. I am just going to have to give up on guys for a while.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Well Damn,

Q found my blog, and well he knows everything right now. So I am a little on the depressed side. Everything just really sucks right now. Anyways, I'll post more later. Or I might just remove this all together. Who knows....

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Here is my first HNT!

I took the pic down for a while, now that people have found my blog. Dang
Here is to all the men of my life that called me a tease.

My life just got simple and complicated.

Yea!!!! I told M he has to move out... I am so proud of myself. It sucked though because I had to crash on my friends couch last night, but it gave me an excuse to get him the hell out of there. (insert happy dance here). So my life got one step easier.

On the second had, my boss basically threatened me with my job. But I seems to have found one that offers better benefits. So i guess you could call it a lose/win situation. I am going to be checking into that today.

I was going to post a HNT but my computer has taken a trip with someones car. I told it that it couldn't go out unsupervised but it just did not listen. But I will leave you with this. I posted a while back that about a memory that I had with J (not sure if I revealed his name). Well I was out the other night and we got together and I got to relive that memory. I will write more with that latter along with a pick.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Fetish Day Part too

This is why I should never be left alone with nothing to do. So in honor of fetish day (Yes I know it is a little late) I colored my hair! I love shocking the hell out of people.

Not too much

So I am not in much of a mood to type, M has really pissed me off and made me not want to go home to my own apt. I had to be up really early this morning and could tell he was throwing a hissy fit last night. For christ sake he got up at 4am and turned on the light which also got me up. God I really wanted to throw something at him.

But I am going to try and post a picture on here. They are one of my favorite pair of socks and I hope you like them too. Plus whatever is behind me makes me look preggers....all I have to say is that I was drunk and in a bathroom with a camera, don't ask why.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Fetish Day

So it is fetish day, and I hope all of you pervs are wearing some purple. I know I am. To kick of my fetish day (ok it was about 12am and I had a few drinks) I was a stripper last night. Now I normally don't do this on a regular basis, or even at all. But the freak in me got the better last night, when I went out with the guys to the strip club, and decided stripping was a good idea. So there was one of my fetish goals accomplished. Yea Me!! So if you see anyone wearing purple today know that they have something dirty on their mind. What is on your mind today?

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

A dream

So I had a dream last night that left me waking up and panting and I thought I would share it.

She walked out of the bathroom in nothing but knee high white socks and black heels. Her hair was pulled into pig-tails as he had instructed her. He walked over to her and placed his hand between her legs "spread them" and she complied. He pressed his fingers against her slit. "Looks like someone had been naughty, I shouldn't even be touching you, you are nothing but a slut. Taste what a slut taste like." She hung her head shamefully and wanted to do nothing but please her master as she licked herself off his fingers.

"Now lay on the bed face down" she complied. He tied both hands and both feet to the bed. He took out a toy and placed it in her, she reacted by pushing against his hand. He smacked her ass hard, and she let out a whimper and knew she was not pleasing her Master. "You are not to cum" he instructed her. With that he turned the toy on and she could feel the vibration pushing on her G spot. She knew it wouldn't be long until she would be punished again, but she tried her hardest not to cum. Like a wave rushing over her she came, she knew she was in trouble

"I told you not to cum, and now you will receive you punishment." With that he propped her pelvis on a pillow, and gently started to rub his fingers around her rose bud and she gasped. She had never had anyone enter her there and she was afraid. She squirmed trying to resist him. He smacked her again. "If you keep trying to disobey me then this is going to get a lot worse."

She rested her head and defeat and knew that there was nothing she could do. He pushed one finger inside and she couldn't help but be shocked. Then he placed another inside her and she squirmed a little, he gave her two good swats, one on each check. She whimpered, she could feel another orgasm cumming on and wanted nothing more then to stop it, but she couldn't. She shook violently. She felt the tip of his rigid cock pushing against her opening and knew what her punishment would be. He entered here little by little, it hurt, she had never been stretched this much before and squirmed to get away. He grabbed her hips and held her still "I told you it would hurt a lot if you didn't stay still" and with that he thrust fully into her. She yelped and buried her face into the bed. She wanted to be everything her master wanted and she was going to do her best.

She turned her head to one side and replied "thank you Master" he ran his hand down her back and it calmed her. He began to slid in and out of her, she expected this to hurt but it didn't. She realized how full she felt from both her Master and the toy and came to enjoy the feeling. Before long she knew that she was going to come again, and she did hard. Her body shook and every muscle tensed in her. Her arms pulled against the ropes, trying to get her out and free to enjoy herself.

She had lost all her senses until her master left one great smack on her bare ass. She jumped, He took the toy out and replaced it with his hard dick and pounded her soaking cunt. She could feel him coming closer and pushed against him. He shook and collapsed on top of her. She could feel him feeling her up with his cum, and she whimpered. She wanted to taste him and he had denied her of that. "If you had behaved I would of let you taste me, but you didn't and this is part of your punishment. I am going to leave you her to think about your slutty ways." And with that he left her, she lay there thinking about everything, wishing she felt as full as she did minutes ago.

Monday, January 12, 2009

An Update on Q and M

Well, M has made his way out here and has been living with me for a week. And I have been keeping things up with Q as well. Dang, I really hate this. I have discovered that I can not do this multiple relationship thing. Dating is easy to do, there is no commitment, but relationships are fucking hard and not worth the worry and trouble. So here is what sucks.

I could probably do this if M did not live with me, plus not to mention Q has a key. This all happened before I though M was coming out here, Q works late hours (bartender) and when he gets off he comes over to my place. I am normally asleep (ok you got me, passed out) and it is normally easier for him to come over and spend the night. I have not been drinking lately to avoid this problem. Which leads me to explaining to M that I am going out to pick up my "girl" friend at the bar and then staying the night at "her" house because I am to tired to drive back. Its just getting to complicated and annoying.

I hate living with someone. I never realized it until now. I want to come home and do what ever I want and not have to explain anything. I don't want to explain where I am at, where I am going, what I am doing. For christ sakes its just too much. I hate having to separate things, like space in a closet, room in the bathroom. Not what I was imagining. Plus M is home all day trying to work on getting a job and so there is no time to sneak home and do anything. Which brings up this...Is there anything that you don't do in front of your significant other?

I think I like Q more then I like M. With M I feel like I have to entertain him all the time, partially because he is at my house and does not have a job yet. But with Q its just simple uncomplicated and relaxing. We can just be. I can sit around and read my book while he plays video games. With M I feel like we have to do the same thing the other person is doing (again it might be that we live together). Plus I like cuddling with Q, and I am not a cuddler. And M likes to cuddle but I just can't seem to get into it, might be the whole dating two guys thing.

But, what really sucks is none of this matters, M lives with me. I can't chose Q and expect M to just vanish. So tonight I am going to go and break up with Q (its just not fair to him, or me, or M). One thing I have realized I fucking hate relationships they are too hard and too complicated.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Q and I

So it finnaly happened....Q and I had sex. And while I want to write a lovely post about how great and pleasing it was, I can't *sigh*. I don't know where to start. I am not saying it was bad, but it was extremely akward. I learned a lot about him, it may also not of helped that we were both pretty drunk. I think if we had not been drinking nothing would of happened. So here is what I learned.....

1. He does not like to be naked....that kind of sucks during sex if you ask me. He kept everything on except for his pants, which kind of have to go during sex. On the other side I am a bit of an nuddist, I love to be naked, and if I could I would be naked all the time. Not saying that he complains, I always strip down the minute I get to his house and I think he likes it that way.

2. For some reason he likes to have "funny" sex....funny to me is the kind where yes your are having sex but you tend to make fun of it. You make stupid animal sounds, like a growl or something. You tickle and make the other person laugh. While this is fun every once and a while, maybe not all the time (although I can't say he does it all the time because we only had sex once, but it seems that way). Yea well lets just say he was making fart noises on my stomach for about 30 minutes, and while it was cute at first it got old fast.

3. He got really emotional after while some of it is to blame on the alchol some of I do not. I am not talking about the cute kind where you snuggle and talk (which I also do not prefer but can deal with). It was more like a combination of "I really don't like having sex this early" coupled with "Don't hurt me like my last couple of girl friends." Which just makes you feel like you made a mistake and should of waited.

4. It seems that it is not going to happen again for a while....*sigh* now I can hold out if I have meet the person and not had sex with them, but when you have had sex with them what is the point of stoping again. Blah, you see dear readers as much as I hate to say it sex complicates things. I almost wish that it was just like a normal act, like shaking hands, now wouldn't that be fun.

Well that all kind of sucked there were some good things.

1. I got laid....*happy dance* it had been way to long and felt really good to be filled with a hard cock. After awhile masterbation just doesn't seem to do it anymore.

2. Our relationship became a little more perminate....hoping I can work out this M thing.

3. He is somewhat dominate...not truly dominate but he likes to be in charge, likes to spank, and likes to choke *big smile*.

4. Did I mention I got laid?

Well there you have it and heres to hopping I can write a really good post about a really great time *fingers crossed*.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

So I have screwed myself.

I am sitting here kicking my self in the ass. As I had mentioned earlier M was coming out here to live with me. Well, I called him and told him to hold off on booking his ticket and told him that I might have to go home (GA) to take care of some family things.Though that was not the case, I just didn't want to tell him that I had meet someone else (no point in hurting him, right?) Well he went ahead and booked it....

Everything with Q is going so well and now I have this other guy coming out here to live with me. I told Q about it, before M had a plane ticket, and told him that I was going to tell the M not to come. Now he is coming and I am so screwed. Why don't people listen? I kind of find it irritating and rude that M didn't listen. Makes me wonder.